Specs on a chain

Usually, wearing glasses on a chain around your neck falls into the realm of bubbes in Palm Beach who drive pastel-colored Cadillacs. But according to Vogue, these chains have the potential to be the next big thing. It’s “granny-chic,” meant to be combined with cardigans and frilly blouses, because fashion has stopped chasing youth.

Ha. The only way granny-chic could work is if it’s worn by someone young and fresh and preferably tall and leggy. The young can look old; the old cannot. Perhaps this is one reason why vintage clothing has been so very popular over the past few years?

Other aspects of the granny look, such as lace-up boots and mismatched florals, have been on the runways for a few seasons, and have hit mainstream popularity. But glasses chains? Even Vogue doubts they’ll be big with anyone besides the fashion crowd.

I, for one, am planning to abstain from attaching my spectacles to any sort of chain. When I was little, I was forced to attach my sunglasses and prescription sports goggles (yes, I was that cool) to a neoprene strip known as a Croakie, and wear them around my neck. Not a good look. So while I love jewelry, I am loathe to relive any aspect of the embarrassment that the Croakie so kindly lent to me.

I could see the chains working, perhaps on a cute librarian or someone who likes to dress like Emma Pillsbury from Glee, in pencil skirts and patterned cardigans. But only if done deliberately. No one wants to look like I did at 10, I promise.

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